R. Kelly Has Been Assassinated By The Lying Devil

We, your wonderful saviors at Wonkette, have been cancelling R. Kelly for nearly a year now, as we have chronicled the trials and tribulations this “God-fearing” crooner has endured at the hands of Lucifer. Oh Satan, why hast thou forsaken thine own favored son? For some, the recent assassination … [Read More...]

Papa John Is Papa Unemployed

Say goodbye to Papa John! It feels like it has been at least a hundred years since we have heard a word from John Schnatter, the man who founded what’s arguably the third largest (and first nastiest) pizza operation in America, Papa Johns Pizza. We would have loved to continue … [Read More...]

Cardi B: Obamacare Helped Get Your P*ssy Checked!

The government of the United States has been shut the hell down for a cool minute now. It’s so bad that cracks are finally beginning to show even amongst Trump’s broke ass farmers, while even people who HAVE money, like Cardi B, are becoming concerned as hell about government workers… [Read More...]

Trump Loses War On Santa

Ho ho ho, everyone! Merry Trumpmas! While we have been away snuggled up in our footie pajamas, drinking eggnog, and having fun with friends and family, guess what Dear Leader has been up to? If you guessed “moping and making kids sad,” give yourself another adult eggnog as a … [Read More...]

Diamond And Silk Can See Mexico From Their House

The Damsels of Dumb, Diamond and Silk, sashayed their way onto the set of “Fox & Friends” to kick some knowledge to their MAGA peeps, and call out Nancy Pelosi for not understanding walls. Uninformed and idiotic inanities dropped from their lips as fast as Melania’s poll numbers fell when… [Read More...]